By : Kevin John
Self esteem is essential to living a fulfilled, happy and successful life. Without it, you will struggle to deal successfully with all the people you meet in life, your motivation suffers, you set low expectations of yourself…
The six pillars of self esteem were identified by Nathaniel Branden, a psychologist and author of twenty books on the psychology of self esteem. The six pillars of self esteem is a good model for the different components of self esteem.
Self esteem is not the momentary buzz that you get when someone gives you a compliment or you have a particularly enjoyable experience. It is based on the six pillars of self esteem which are firm, foundational principles that are built in to your character. It only comes about through personal growth and self acceptance of everything that is you.
The Six Pillars of Self Esteem
- Living consciously Choosing to be conscious of your thoughts, your feelings and your decisions and the impact that they have on the people around us. Refusing to see things other than with complete clarity
- Self Acceptance Be willing to accept yourself as you are “warts and all”. Not rejecting your weaknesses, but integrating them as part of your whole self. Realising that “no one is perfect” and that the patchwork that is you is what makes you a unique individual, that nothing is permanent and that you can become more resourceful with time.
- Self Assertiveness The ability to stand up for yourself. This is not the ability to get your own way at all costs by any means that you have, rather it is the ability to ensure that you get your win out of any “win-win” agreement.
- Living Purposefully Making sure that you have the self discipline to identify your purpose, develop plans and objectives and then to work towards achieving them.
- Integrity The private face of integrity is ensuring that our values , our principles and our behaviours are all consistent and of the highest moral and ethical standards – “be true to yourself”. The private face of integrity underpins the public face: honesty and openness in our dealings with everyone around us.
- Self Responsibility You must be in control of your life by accepting that you are responsible for your own actions and decisions and that you own the results you produce in your life.
The six pillars of self esteem will produce personal growth and personal success
The six pillars of self esteem line up with many of the eight steps to success and will increase the effectiveness of any program of personal growth.
Working to improve your self esteem in itself is also a valuable personal growth exercise. If you are achieving poor results because you have low self esteem then working on the six pillars of self esteem with the objective of raising your self esteem is a great place to start. Check out the resources and articles sections of this website for more ideas.
You can get a free, 5 part e-course “Achieving your dreams” for more useful tips on success. To discover more resources, articles, and support materials that will help you to succeed visit www.achieving-your-dreams.com
Kevin John has spent many years helping businesses owners, aspiring business owners, and private individuals to develop the understanding and skills that they need to achieve the success that they want. If you would like to comment on this article or ask Kevin a question, you can contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org